Abbey of the Arts

Transformative Living through Contemplative & Expressive Arts

  • Welcome
    • Prayer Cycle
      • Introduction to the Earth Monastery Prayer Cycle
      • Day 1 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Cathedral
      • Day 2 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Scriptures
      • Day 3 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Saints
      • Day 4 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Spiritual Directors
      • Day 5 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Icon
      • Day 6 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Sacrament
      • Day 7 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Liturgy
      • Prayer Cycle Leader Resources
    • About the Abbey
    • About Christine Valters Paintner
    • About John Valters Paintner
    • About the Wisdom Council
    • Monk Manifesto
    • Join the Holy Disorder of Dancing Monks
    • Subscribe to Our Love Notes
    • Website privacy notice
  • Books
    • Sacred Time:
      Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
    • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: Poems
    • Earth, Our Original Monastery:
      Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature
    • Dreaming of Stones: Poems
    • The Soul's Slow Ripening:
      12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred
    • The Wisdom of the Body:
      A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women
    • Illuminating the Way:
      Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
    • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
      Eight Practices for the Journey Within
    • Eyes of the Heart:
      Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice
    • The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom
    • Desert Mothers and Fathers: Early Christian Wisdom Sayings Annotated & Explained
    • Lectio Divina–The Sacred Art: Transforming Words and Images into Heart-Centered Prayer
    • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements
    • Awakening the Creative Spirit:
      Bringing the Arts to Spiritual Direction
    • Lectio Divina: Contemplative Awakening & Awareness
  • Poetry | Art | Music
    • Music + DVD
    • Poetry by Christine Valters Paintner
    • Poetry Videos
    • Dancing Monk Icons
    • Other Art Collaborations
      • Monk in the World art series by Kristin Noelle
      • Saints & Animals art series by David Hollington
      • Sacred Time art series by Alexi Francis
      • Mary block print art series by Kreg Yingst
  • Programs
    • Live Programs: Pilgrimage & Retreats
      • Monk in the World (Ireland)
      • Writing on the Wild Edges (Ireland)
      • Vienna Monk in the World (Austria)
      • Hildegard of Bingen (Germany)
      • Awakening the Creative Spirit: Experiential Education for Spiritual Directors in the Expressive Arts (Northwest)
    • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color Book Club
    • Community Online Retreats
      • The Spiral Way:
        Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination
      • Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers (Lent 2021)
      • Dancing with Fear in Troubled Times
      • Novena for Times of Unraveling
      • The Two HT’s-Harriet Tubman and Howard Thurman-on Being Free
      • Writing Into Bloom
        with Christine Valters Paintner
      • Sacred Time: Embracing an Intentional Way of Life (Spring 2021)
      • Poetry and the Sacred Garden of the World:
        An Online Writing Retreat
    • Self-Study Online Spiritual Retreats
      • Creative Flourishing in the Heart of the Desert:
        An Online Retreat with St. Hildegard of Bingen
      • Dreaming of the Sea:
        A women’s discernment journey through the story of the Selkie
      • Earth, Our Original Monastery
        A Companion Retreat to the Book (SELF-STUDY)
      • Exile and Coming Home:
        An Archetypal Journey through the Scriptures
      • Eyes of the Heart:
        Photography as Contemplative Practice
        (Companion retreat to the book)
      • Honoring Saints and Ancestors:
        Online Retreat for the Season of Remembrance
      • Lectio Divina:
        The Sacred Art of Reading the World
      • A Midwinter God:
        Making a Conscious Underworld Journey
      • Sacred Rhythms of Sky, Sun, Sea & Stone:
        A Creative Retreat with the Elements (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Seasons:
        A Yearlong Journey through the Celtic Wheel of the Year
      • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
        Eight Practices for the Journey Within
        (a companion retreat to the book)
      • The Soul's Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seekers of the Sacred (a companion retreat to the book)
      • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire
      • Watershed Moments
        in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures
      • Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist:
        A 12-Week Companion Retreat to The Artist's Rule
      • The Wisdom of the Body:
        A 10-Week Online Companion Retreat to the Book
      • The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine
  • Calendar
  • Reflections
  • Contact

Soul Care Institute

Live it to Give it (guest reflection from Kayce Hughlett)

She had to find it in herself.  —Glinda, The Wizard of Oz (MGM)

If someone asked you to describe your relationship to self-care how might you answer? Could you or would you be willing to elaborate on your own soul nourishment practices? Do you even know how to begin? Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, I’ve discovered the best way is to start at the beginning and follow the yellow brick road. As with Dorothy, my story of change and journey into soulful living began with a catalytic event. In her case the event was being swept up in a tornado and taken away from her Kansas home. My life-changing episode felt more like I was the unfortunate witch of the East with the house falling upon me. Something had to die and, in this case, it was my ideas of what passed for good care.

Like all stories (good, bad or indifferent), my journey of self-care and soul nourishment and the birthing of Live it to Give it is inspired by personal experience. It really can’t be any other way. This particular beginning arrived in the form of family disaster when my carefully constructed rules of living an ordered life began to crumble. I had never learned how to effectively be a caregiver or care for myself. I relied upon things going according to plan and when the plan failed I panicked. My natural tendency was to go numb, freak out and/or put on a heavy shell of protection. I came to realize that while my adopted ways initially seemed necessary, they weren’t long-term effective by any means.

I initially broke into the self-care “business” out of necessity and in order to survive. When my own child was threatened by circumstances out of my control, it became increasingly clear I had to learn to protect and care for me before I could effectively and compassionately be there for others. I could have easily shut down and tuned out, but there was (and is) a strong pull inside me – a fearless and ferocious will to survive and thrive. Like a mother bear protecting her cubs, I chose to stay in the battle and ultimately realized I was one of the precious cubs worth defending. When I began to understand my own woundedness and patterns of self-protection, I began to turn the corner in how I cared for others. I learned I can’t authentically and fully give it (love, compassion, care, presence) to others if I don’t offer it to myself. And so, as my passion and love of self grew, it naturally spread to sharing it with others. True soul nourishment isn’t selfish (like many of us are taught). In fact, I’m learning it’s quite the opposite; because the more personally fulfilled I am, the more I want others to experience their own fulfillment.

If I’m not authentic with the people I’m around (family, friends, clients, anyone), then they don’t get the full benefit of my uniquely given gifts. By getting clean and clear on who I am and what I want, then I’m able to get out of my own way and tap into the Spirit/God/Higher Power whose passion is to heal the world. My passion is to share a way of healing and growth with others. Live it to Give it has been developed out of my own experiences along with those of countless others. My role is that of a fellow journeyer and unfinished woman. I believe there is something to learn in everything, and never would have dreamed having a metaphorical house fall on me could lead to sharing the fullness of life with so many amazing individuals. Brick by yellow brick, I continue to grow and enjoy this journey. It is one of discovery and ongoing opportunities to write a new story.

Live it to Give it (LITGI) is a well-developed and intentionally thought out program designed around the self-care and soul nourishment needs of individuals in caregiving professions. My personal experience has allowed me the privilege of working with hundreds of people in the fields of compassionate listening as well as groups and individuals seeking their own personal growth. Over the course of several years, I have gathered resources, techniques and tips for soul nourishment that have enriched my personal life and the lives of countless others. LITGI is a culmination of these sources.

While LITGI will be extensive and broad, it is in no way exhaustive. Detailed materials will be provided each week along with an interactive forum and weekly, moderated phone sessions to allow discussion, growth, and support. The beauty of creating in community is that we each have the opportunity and ability to learn from one another.

LITGI has become a personal calling and an ongoing area of growth for me. I often reinforce in my classes and private counseling/coaching practice that even though (or perhaps especially because) I make a consistent effort to be self-aware, there are still growing edges I encounter each day. I offer this insight because whether you have a well-developed self-care practice or know you are experiencing burnout, my hope is that LITGI will engage your experience in fresh ways. By “finding it in yourself”, your mission in the world can only become richer. I hope you will consider joining me for this grand adventure called, Live it to Give it.

–reflection written by Kayce Hughlett, MA, LMHC

*If you are a soul care practitioner please join Kayce this fall for the 6-week journey of Live it to Give it, part of the Soul Care Insitute*

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1 Comment July 5, 2011

Upcoming Programs

The Spiral Way:
Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination

Hosted by the Rowe Center
February 1-21, 2021
with Christine Valters Paintner, PhD

Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers
Retreat for Lent 2021

February 17-April 1, 2021
with Christine & John Valters Paintner and Betsey Beckman

Recent Reflections

  • Celtic Spirituality and the Spiral Way ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Hildy Tales 3: Ní heolas go haontíos ~ by John Valters Paintner
  • Humility + Join us today for live prayer! ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Hildy Tales 2: Tús maith leath na hoibre – by John Valters Paintner
  • New Book Club for 2021: Lift Every Voice ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

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