Abbey of the Arts

Transformative Living through Contemplative & Expressive Arts

  • Welcome
    • Prayer Cycle
      • Introduction to the Earth Monastery Prayer Cycle
      • Day 1 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Cathedral
      • Day 2 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Scriptures
      • Day 3 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Saints
      • Day 4 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Spiritual Directors
      • Day 5 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Icon
      • Day 6 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Sacrament
      • Day 7 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Liturgy
      • Prayer Cycle Leader Resources
    • About the Abbey
    • About Christine Valters Paintner
    • About John Valters Paintner
    • About the Wisdom Council
    • Monk Manifesto
    • Join the Holy Disorder of Dancing Monks
    • Subscribe to Our Love Notes
    • Website privacy notice
  • Books
    • Sacred Time:
      Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
    • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: Poems
    • Earth, Our Original Monastery:
      Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature
    • Dreaming of Stones: Poems
    • The Soul's Slow Ripening:
      12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred
    • The Wisdom of the Body:
      A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women
    • Illuminating the Way:
      Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
    • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
      Eight Practices for the Journey Within
    • Eyes of the Heart:
      Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice
    • The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom
    • Desert Mothers and Fathers: Early Christian Wisdom Sayings Annotated & Explained
    • Lectio Divina–The Sacred Art: Transforming Words and Images into Heart-Centered Prayer
    • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements
    • Awakening the Creative Spirit:
      Bringing the Arts to Spiritual Direction
    • Lectio Divina: Contemplative Awakening & Awareness
  • Poetry | Art | Music
    • Music + DVD
    • Poetry by Christine Valters Paintner
    • Poetry Videos
    • Dancing Monk Icons
    • Other Art Collaborations
      • Monk in the World art series by Kristin Noelle
      • Saints & Animals art series by David Hollington
      • Sacred Time art series by Alexi Francis
      • Mary block print art series by Kreg Yingst
  • Programs
    • Walk the Ancient Paths: Pilgrimage
      • Monk in the World (Ireland)
      • Writing on the Wild Edges (Ireland)
      • Poetry and the Sacred Garden of the World (Ireland)
      • Vienna Monk in the World (Austria)
      • Hildegard of Bingen (Germany)
    • Live Programs and Spiritual Retreats
      • Awakening the Creative Spirit: Experiential Education for Spiritual Directors in the Expressive Arts (Northwest)
    • Community Online Retreats
      • Dancing with Fear in Troubled Times
      • The Two HT’s-Harriet Tubman and Howard Thurman-on Being Free
      • Writing Into Bloom
        with Christine Valters Paintner
      • Novena for Times of Unraveling
      • Poetry and the Sacred Garden of the World:
        An Online Writing Retreat
      • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color
      • The Way of the Hermit:
        A Spiritual Survival Guide for Dark Times
        with Kayleen Asbo, PhD
      • The Spiral Way:
        Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination
      • Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers (Lent 2021)
      • Sacred Time: Embracing an Intentional Way of Life (Spring 2021)
    • Self-Study Online Spiritual Retreats
      • Creative Flourishing in the Heart of the Desert:
        An Online Retreat with St. Hildegard of Bingen
      • Dreaming of the Sea:
        A women’s discernment journey through the story of the Selkie
      • Earth, Our Original Monastery
        A Companion Retreat to the Book (SELF-STUDY)
      • Exile and Coming Home:
        An Archetypal Journey through the Scriptures
      • Eyes of the Heart:
        Photography as Contemplative Practice
        (Companion retreat to the book)
      • Honoring Saints and Ancestors:
        Online Retreat for the Season of Remembrance
      • Lectio Divina:
        The Sacred Art of Reading the World
      • A Midwinter God:
        Making a Conscious Underworld Journey
      • Sacred Rhythms of Sky, Sun, Sea & Stone:
        A Creative Retreat with the Elements (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Seasons:
        A Yearlong Journey through the Celtic Wheel of the Year
      • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
        Eight Practices for the Journey Within
        (a companion retreat to the book)
      • The Soul's Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seekers of the Sacred (a companion retreat to the book)
      • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire
      • Watershed Moments
        in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures
      • Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist:
        A 12-Week Companion Retreat to The Artist's Rule
      • The Wisdom of the Body:
        A 10-Week Online Companion Retreat to the Book
      • The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine
  • Calendar
  • Reflections
  • Contact

Monk in the World Guest Post Series

Monk in the World Guest Post: Kristen Vincent

I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to the Monk in the World guest post series from the community. Read on for Kristen Vincent's reflection on prayer beads and the mystery of God.

Last year my friend Thayer gifted me with a set of prayer beads. It could have been an ironic gift given that I make prayer beads for a living; it’s not as if I was in need of a set. Instead, the gift was deeply touching. Clearly, Thayer wanted to make a set of beads for me and was confident enough to give them to me. I loved that. The beads were gorgeous: shiny black Czech glass week beads paired with red and black cruciform beads, set off by red and metallic seed beads and a silver pewter cross. Thayer chose black, she explained, to represent the Mystery of God.

Her timing was perfect. A year or two earlier I might not have received this gift of black prayer beads well. As the survivor of childhood trauma, blackness represented the dark, death, a place where scary things happened. Bedtime was particularly difficult; turning off the lights created space for intrusive thoughts and even night terrors. And the idea of mystery was discomforting: it was the unknown, a place in which anything could happen, a void where you could get lost or even lose yourself.

That God was described as Mystery did not help. Why had God allowed me to be traumatized as a child? Where had God been? Why hadn’t God protected me? And where was God now in the midst of my fear? Why did God seem so distant in the dark? To me, that was the mystery.

In 2009 I began praying a desperate prayer for peace. Over time I was led to enroll in The Academy for Spiritual Formation, a two-year program that combines academic learning with spiritual disciplines and community. The Academy is modeled on a monastic rhythm of prayer, worship, community, silence, and solitude. This rhythm created the space I needed to heal. For the first time I was still enough to hear God’s voice. I recognized that God had never abandoned me all those years ago; indeed, God was with me every second, giving me the strength to endure the trauma and cope with its aftermath. God had carried me until I was ready to heal. And God was now present to hear me speak my truth, ask my hard questions, rage and cry and vent, then carefully begin to piece together a new sense of self that was based in God’s Deep Love.

Not surprisingly, it was around this time the darkness began to lose its sense of danger. The night terrors faded away. I could sleep.

Then Thayer gave me this beautiful set of prayer beads, black to represent the Mystery of God.  Thayer – who knew my story and had watched me heal – somehow understood that I was ready to experience God’s Mystery in a new way. And she was right. Because it was only when she offered that gift of black prayer beads and explained the meaning of the color that I felt God’s Mystery. I felt its depth, its power, its richness, and its grace. I felt its triumph and its humility. Most of all, I felt its abiding peace.

Now I look forward to bedtime. I turn out the lights, put on an eye mask, then cover my head with blankets to block out all hope of light. I purposely look deep into the blackness. I don’t see anything. I don’t hear anything. Best of all, I don’t have to do anything. I can just be. It is “i am” with “I AM.” I can rest – really rest – and know that God is with me and in control. There’s no need to be on guard against anything. I can relax and release my entire being to Mystery.

I have taken this same sense of rest and release into the day. Using Christine Valters Paintner’s suggestion, I received a seven-word prayer at the beginning of the year: “Help me release and receive your peace.” I sit with my black set of prayer beads, close my eyes, and repeat this prayer with each bead. I do this until I begin to feel it: that sense of release, that rest, that peace. That is how I’m learning to live in Mystery surrounded by God’s deep love.


Kristen Vincent is author of several books on prayer and prayer beads, including A Bead and a Prayer: A Beginner’s Guide to Protestant Prayer Beads, and Beads of Healing: Prayer, Trauma, and Spiritual Wholeness. Kristen is a graduate of Duke Divinity School and The Academy of Spiritual Formation (#34) and loves to write and lead retreats.  Visit her online at www.prayerworksstudio.com and www.beadsofhealing.com.

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3 Comments December 13, 2017

Upcoming Programs

The Way of the Hermit:
A Spiritual Survival Guide for Dark Times

January 22-24, 2021
with Kayleen Asbo, PhD

The Spiral Way:
Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination

Hosted by the Rowe Center
February 1-21, 2021
with Christine Valters Paintner, PhD

Recent Reflections

  • Hildy Tales 3: Ní heolas go haontíos ~ by John Valters Paintner
  • Humility + Join us today for live prayer! ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Hildy Tales 2: Tús maith leath na hoibre – by John Valters Paintner
  • New Book Club for 2021: Lift Every Voice ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Hildy Tales One: Dia dhuit, is mise Hildy! by John Valters Paintner, Your Online Prior

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