Abbey of the Arts

Transformative Living through Contemplative & Expressive Arts

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  • Books
    • Breath Prayer:
      An Ancient Practice for the Everyday Sacred
    • Sacred Time:
      Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
    • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: Poems
    • Earth, Our Original Monastery:
      Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature
    • Dreaming of Stones: Poems
    • The Soul's Slow Ripening:
      12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred
    • The Wisdom of the Body:
      A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women
    • Illuminating the Way:
      Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
    • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
      Eight Practices for the Journey Within
    • Eyes of the Heart:
      Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice
    • The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom
    • Desert Mothers and Fathers: Early Christian Wisdom Sayings Annotated & Explained
    • Lectio Divina–The Sacred Art: Transforming Words and Images into Heart-Centered Prayer
    • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements
    • Awakening the Creative Spirit:
      Bringing the Arts to Spiritual Direction
    • Lectio Divina: Contemplative Awakening & Awareness
  • Poetry | Art | Music
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      • Monk in the World art series by Kristin Noelle
      • Saints & Animals art series by David Hollington
      • Sacred Time art series by Alexi Francis
      • Mary block print art series by Kreg Yingst
  • Programs
    • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color Book Club
    • Community Online Retreats
      • Harriet Tubman and Howard Thurman-on Being Free
      • Writing Into Bloom
        with Christine Valters Paintner
      • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
      • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: A Weekend Retreat Online
      • The Spiral Way:
        Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination
      • Sacred Balance:
        Aligning Body and Spirit Through
        Yoga and the Benedictine Way
    • Self-Study Online Spiritual Retreats
      • Creative Flourishing in the Heart of the Desert:
        An Online Retreat with St. Hildegard of Bingen
      • Dreaming of the Sea:
        A women’s discernment journey through the story of the Selkie
      • Earth, Our Original Monastery
        A Companion Retreat to the Book (SELF-STUDY)
      • Exile and Coming Home:
        An Archetypal Journey through the Scriptures
      • Eyes of the Heart:
        Photography as Contemplative Practice
        (Companion retreat to the book)
      • Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers
        (SELF-STUDY)
      • Honoring Saints and Ancestors:
        Online Retreat for the Season of Remembrance
      • Lectio Divina:
        The Sacred Art of Reading the World
      • A Midwinter God:
        Making a Conscious Underworld Journey (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Rhythms of Sky, Sun, Sea & Stone:
        A Creative Retreat with the Elements (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Seasons:
        A Yearlong Journey through the Celtic Wheel of the Year
      • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
        Eight Practices for the Journey Within
        (a companion retreat to the book)
      • The Soul's Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seekers of the Sacred (a companion retreat to the book)
      • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire
      • Watershed Moments
        in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures
      • Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist:
        A 12-Week Companion Retreat to The Artist's Rule
      • The Wisdom of the Body:
        A 10-Week Online Companion Retreat to the Book
      • The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine
    • Live Programs: Pilgrimage & Retreats
      • Writing on the Wild Edges (Ireland)
      • Hildegard of Bingen (Germany)
      • Awakening the Creative Spirit: Experiential Education for Spiritual Directors in the Expressive Arts (Northwest)
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Monk in the World Guest Post Series

Monk in the World Guest Post: Michele Chung

I am delighted to share another beautiful submission for the Monk in the World guest post series from the community. Read on for Michele Chung's reflection The Art of Processing Feedback.

While a contemplative life is a personal and solitary journey, we are at the same time intended to live in community.  An important part of this relationship is our dialogue with our friends and family.  The feedback we receive, however, can often be a mixed bag of advice ranging from mere personal opinions to wise counsel. It’s often a confusing and messy process to figure out which advice we should listen to.

The good news is that the contemplative practices actually help us better discern the words that others share with us. The more clarity we have about our own journey, the easier it is to learn and benefit from others’ suggestions and input. Here are some key principles that help me process through the feedbacks I get.

  1. Remember your focus. When you process through any feedback, it’s important to remember what your focus is for this season. If the feedback helps you grow further in your key area, then meditate on it. Otherwise, feel free to put it aside for now. A great advice that’s meant for a different season may end up being a distraction in the now.
  1. The right advice is encouraging and inspiring. The right kind of feedback will be encouraging and inspiring. It should bring clarity and peace to a stressful heart.  Even a word of correction should bring a sense of clarity and hope rather than guilt and despair. The right kind of feedback on a creative project will also bring great synergy and even open unexpected doors.
  1. Examine your response. When a word or suggestion stays on your heart or mind, try to understand what is causing that. Meditate and look deeper. Did it stir up fear or anger? Or a peaceful agreement and acceptance? Or even excitement? Even when there’s an element of fear, it can reveal a part of your heart that you may not be aware of. Sometimes the response of your heart gives more insight than the feedback themselves.
  1. Know your own tendencies. We all have our “button” issues. If you know your triggers, then you won’t be so easily distracted by them when you receive feedback on those areas. I tend to be a people-pleaser and can be easily influenced by others. This has led to much unnecessary confusion and distraction when I felt guilty rejecting feedback from my friends. Once I see my issues, however, I’m more objective throughout the process, and can graciously let go of things that are not helpful, and move forward.
  1. It’s not always about you. Ironically, some comments reflect more about the heart of the speaker rather than about you. What someone sees in your life may trigger their own fears and concerns. Admittedly, this is hard to discern, and I don’t easily jump to this conclusion in my own processing. However, there have been a few times when comments heavily weighed on my heart, and I simply didn’t have much insight. Suddenly, I was reminded of the speaker’s background or history, and then it was clear why they made those comments. Their comments reflected more about their own journey than mine.

Discerning and processing through feedback is more of an art than a science. The key is to keep our hearts connected to the still small voice inside and allow God to guide us. It may seem more expedient to just accept someone’s word or advice because they are a spiritual leader or a trusted friend.  Or it may feel justified to reject a word because we feel offended.  I’ve found, however, that taking the time to seek divine insight and work through my inner responses have kept me away from old assumptions and blind spots, and in the end, gave me the breakthrough I really wanted.  Although it may feel intimidating in the beginning, I hope these principles will help you ease into your own process.


Michele Chung headshot 385x500dpiMichele loves reading and learning about all things contemplative.  After a myriad of jobs, she is currently working at a bookstore and pursuing art and blog writing in her spare time. Michele lives in Silicon Valley with her husband and a house full of books. You can find more of her writings at mzchele.wordpress.com.

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Leave a Comment December 7, 2016

Upcoming Programs

  • Writing Into Bloom with Christine Valters Paintner
    • May 1, 2021
  • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
    • May 13, 2021
  • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: A Weekend Retreat Online
    • May 15, 2021 - May 16, 2021
  • View All Upcoming Programs

Recent Reflections

  • Monk in the World Guest Post: Reverend Deb Goldman
  • A mini-poetry reading from Christine plus other publishing news
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