Abbey of the Arts

Transformative Living through Contemplative & Expressive Arts

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  • Books
    • Breath Prayer:
      An Ancient Practice for the Everyday Sacred
    • Sacred Time:
      Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
    • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: Poems
    • Earth, Our Original Monastery:
      Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature
    • Dreaming of Stones: Poems
    • The Soul's Slow Ripening:
      12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred
    • The Wisdom of the Body:
      A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women
    • Illuminating the Way:
      Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
    • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
      Eight Practices for the Journey Within
    • Eyes of the Heart:
      Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice
    • The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom
    • Desert Mothers and Fathers: Early Christian Wisdom Sayings Annotated & Explained
    • Lectio Divina–The Sacred Art: Transforming Words and Images into Heart-Centered Prayer
    • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements
    • Awakening the Creative Spirit:
      Bringing the Arts to Spiritual Direction
    • Lectio Divina: Contemplative Awakening & Awareness
  • Poetry | Art | Music
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      • Monk in the World art series by Kristin Noelle
      • Saints & Animals art series by David Hollington
      • Sacred Time art series by Alexi Francis
      • Mary block print art series by Kreg Yingst
  • Programs
    • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color Book Club
    • Community Online Retreats
      • Harriet Tubman and Howard Thurman-on Being Free
      • Writing Into Bloom
        with Christine Valters Paintner
      • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
      • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: A Weekend Retreat Online
      • The Spiral Way:
        Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination
      • Sacred Balance:
        Aligning Body and Spirit Through
        Yoga and the Benedictine Way
    • Self-Study Online Spiritual Retreats
      • Creative Flourishing in the Heart of the Desert:
        An Online Retreat with St. Hildegard of Bingen
      • Dreaming of the Sea:
        A women’s discernment journey through the story of the Selkie
      • Earth, Our Original Monastery
        A Companion Retreat to the Book (SELF-STUDY)
      • Exile and Coming Home:
        An Archetypal Journey through the Scriptures
      • Eyes of the Heart:
        Photography as Contemplative Practice
        (Companion retreat to the book)
      • Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers
        (SELF-STUDY)
      • Honoring Saints and Ancestors:
        Online Retreat for the Season of Remembrance
      • Lectio Divina:
        The Sacred Art of Reading the World
      • A Midwinter God:
        Making a Conscious Underworld Journey (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Rhythms of Sky, Sun, Sea & Stone:
        A Creative Retreat with the Elements (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Seasons:
        A Yearlong Journey through the Celtic Wheel of the Year
      • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
        Eight Practices for the Journey Within
        (a companion retreat to the book)
      • The Soul's Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seekers of the Sacred (a companion retreat to the book)
      • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire
      • Watershed Moments
        in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures
      • Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist:
        A 12-Week Companion Retreat to The Artist's Rule
      • The Wisdom of the Body:
        A 10-Week Online Companion Retreat to the Book
      • The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine
    • Live Programs: Pilgrimage & Retreats
      • Writing on the Wild Edges (Ireland)
      • Hildegard of Bingen (Germany)
      • Awakening the Creative Spirit: Experiential Education for Spiritual Directors in the Expressive Arts (Northwest)
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Monk in the World Guest Post Series

Monk in the World guest post: Claudia Mair

This week's Monk in the World reflection come from Claudia Mair who blogs at Ragamuffin Diva and is the author of God Alone is Enough: A Spirited Journey with Teresa of Avila (as well as many novels including the Amanda Bell Brown Mystery Series). I've been online friends with Claudia for several years and always am moved by the honesty of her writing. She has the heart of a monk: willing to embrace humility and speak truth.

claudia-mairIf the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, mine has fallen into disrepair, which is why I surprised myself when I decided to chronicle my journey to turning 50 by creating 50 self-portraits. These would be no vanity, duck lips selfies. I wanted the photographs to be sacred pauses, capturing moments in time in a year in which the Spirit was moving. They would be an exercise in tracking grace in my life, as well a way to practice radical self-acceptance. I had the best intentions, however, the spirit was willing, but my flesh was being photographed. By my third self-portrait resistance set in.

Suddenly I didn't want to take my picture. Excuses multiplied like they do anytime it's time to pray or meditate: I'm having a bad hair decade. My clothes look a hot mess. I've fallen and I can't get up. Anything to keep the focus off so. Much. ME!

I had the loftiest ideas of how this discipline would go. Unfortunately in my mind it was more like I'd be taking shots of my aura, completely bypassing my body. I found out rather quickly that photographs can be troubling truth tellers. There was my temple of the Holy Sprit looking more to me like a crack house, its image frozen on a screen, paint chipping, shutters hanging willy nilly, debris littering the yard. I could hardly gaze on it.

claudia mairI bemoaned my flaws. Why did I let myself get so fat? When did I start looking so old? How did I get jowls??? These questions and more buffeted me, stealing my focus from the real purpose of my quest, to chart God's movement in my life, and yes, to photograph someone God made.

Always we begin again, St. Benedict wisely reminds us, and so I began the practice again, this time remembering I'm a monk in the world with a camera and special effects apps, and each portrait I dare take of myself is an opportunity. Yes, I'm photographing myself, duh Claudia, that's what a self- portrait is, but this spiritual discipline is so much more. I don't judge flowers. I enjoy them, and I too am a flower in God's garden. Here's that radical self-acceptance I hoped for, hard won, if the truth be told. Just enjoy the process, including the subject.  And what I perceive as flaws can always, always be viewed with the soft eyes of grace. Herein lies the gift of transformation: the resistance points to the cracks. The cracks let the light in. My body is not a crack house, but truly a temple it pleases the Spirit to dwell in, pretty mind-blowing stuff! I can use photography to take it all in, the beautiful and the terrible, knowing that even if I have trouble accepting it, God loves my body.

Whoa! Where'd that thought come from? But it's the truth, the beginning of a shift in my perception. God. Loves. My body. And there is no capturing moments in my grace filled life without said body. God's love for us is all encompassing. He loves us fat, aging, and with jowls, just as we are.

And that, my fellow monks, even the idea of it, changes everything.

Claudia Mair lives, works, and takes pictures of herself in Lexington, KY. She believes St. Benedict said, "Always we begin again," with her in mind.

To read other posts in this series click here>>

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10 Comments September 23, 2013

Upcoming Programs

  • Writing Into Bloom with Christine Valters Paintner
    • May 1, 2021
  • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
    • May 13, 2021
  • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: A Weekend Retreat Online
    • May 15, 2021 - May 16, 2021
  • View All Upcoming Programs

Recent Reflections

  • Monk in the World Guest Post: Reverend Deb Goldman
  • A mini-poetry reading from Christine plus other publishing news
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  • Monk in the World Guest Post: Greta Kopec
  • Monk in the World Podcast + Harriet Tubman Mysticism ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

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