I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to our Monk in the World guest post series from the community. Read on for Wisdom Council member Jo-ed Tome’s reflection Slower. Softer. Simpler.
I did not exactly set out to become a monk.
If someone had told my younger self that “monk” would one day be part of my self-description, I probably would have laughed and then quickly apologized because I was raised to be polite. But over the years, this monk-in-the-world identity has slowly revealed itself, not through lightning bolts or desert visions, but through the gentle rhythm of days shaped by silence, reflection, and cups of coffee savored instead of gulped.
I have often heard people say I am too young to be living like a monk. And to be fair, I still carry many of the longings typical of my generation—a promising career, a job that pays well, weekends filled with travel and adventure. But somewhere along the way, I began to crave something else. Something quieter. Something slower. I did not have the words for it at first, but it felt like a longing for a different rhythm. A way of living that did not leave me exhausted or fragmented. Over time, and with no small amount of detours, I found myself embracing a slower, softer, and simpler way of being.
This, I have come to realize, is what contemplative living is about. Slower. Softer. Simpler.
Not just prayer or silence (though those are part of it), but a deep commitment to live from within—to make space for presence, to tend to what’s essential, and to move through the world with a little more dependence on grace. It’s a posture of listening. Of resisting the pressure to perform or prove something. It’s a quiet form of courage.
At some point, I began calling myself a monk in the world. I live outside the monastery walls, with a hoodie instead of a habit, and the noise of daily life instead of bells marking the hours. But the impulse feels ancient: to live with intention, to hold space for the sacred in the everyday, to root myself in a rhythm that honors both soul and soil.
This unfolding—this slow becoming—found an important companion in the PAX Fellowship, particularly in the contemplative activism and spiritual formation cohort. The PAX Fellowship is a learning community for emerging Christians of color, rooted in peace, justice, and contemplation. It brings together like-hearted peers, mentors, and teachers to explore how ancient Christian wisdom can shape just and creative responses to the world’s needs.
I didn’t join expecting a dramatic change. But something about being among others who were also asking deep questions, seeking authentic ways to live out their values, and daring to slow down, helped something in me settle. It was like finding others who spoke a language I had not realized I was fluent in.
We touched on themes like inner work, vocation, justice, humility, and the call to wholeness. But more than the content, it was the shared spirit that stayed with me—a collective honoring of stillness and presence as transformative, not passive. It was the kind of community where silence is not empty, but full. The small shifts in how we live are seen as radical acts of faith.
One of the most affirming gifts of the fellowship was how it helped name and affirm what I had long sensed: that contemplative living is a form of activism. In a world that equates a good life with speed and productivity, choosing to slow down is countercultural. To soften—our expectations, our judgments, our want for control—is not weakness, but wisdom. To simplify is not to retreat from the world, but to walk more freely and lightly in it.
Slower. Softer. Simpler. These three words have quietly become my own Rule of Life, thanks to St. Benedict’s example. It reminds me who I am and how I want to show up. It calls me back when I get pulled into urgency or distraction. It definitely is not always easy. But it is profoundly life-giving.
Being a monk in the world means I still have deadlines, dishes, laundry, and the occasional existential crisis. But it also means I try to bring sacred attention to those very things. It means I resist the temptation to numb out or speed up when life gets hard. It means I choose relationships over rush, depth over display, presence over performance.
Of course, I still stumble more times than I can count. I still scroll mindlessly, say yes when I should have said no, and forget to breathe deeply when stress creeps in. But I also keep returning to my Rule. To the small practices that anchor me. To the stillness that reveals what’s truly mine to do.
The PAX Fellowship did not give me a new path. It illuminated the one I was already on. It helped me see this unfolding not as a detour from real life, but as a deep dive into it. It affirmed that there’s a quiet power in living slowly, loving gently, and simplifying enough to see clearly.
So no, I didn’t set out to be a monk. But perhaps the monk life found me—not in a cinematic kind of revelation, but in the ordinary grace of slowing down and paying attention.
And I think that’s the gift: to discover that contemplative living is not somewhere far away. It’s right here. In the unhurried breath. In the honest conversation. In the courage to live against the current, toward Life.
Jo-ed Tome is a Filipino spiritual director, transpersonal psychology researcher, and self-proclaimed monk in the world. He practices and promotes contemplative living through his social media platform, Millennial Tito* Monk. Jo-ed encourages others, especially the youth, to a mindful and compassionate exploration of various spiritual practices that respond to their unique contexts. He strongly believes that the Sacred is within each person as much as It is everywhere and in everything.
Among other practices, Jo-ed leads contemplative climb in mountains, soulful reading of books and other reading materials, and soulful conversations. He also gives retreats and recollections to various groups to help them grapple with questions about life, become witnesses to the dynamic presence of the Sacred in their lives, and connect deeply with their inner selves. Jo-ed earned his MSc in Consciousness, Spirituality and Transpersonal Psychology from Alef Trust in partnership with Liverpool John Moores University. He has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Ateneo de Naga University.
Jo-ed is available for spiritual direction. Contact him to inquire>> You may also visit Millennial Tito Monk’s website and Facebook Page.
