Dearest dancing monks, artists, and pilgrims,
Tomorrow, April 7th, Simon and I will be joined by guest musician Richard Bruxvoort Colligan for our monthly Contemplative Prayer Service. Our theme this month is the 7th principle of the Monk Manifesto, Conversion. Here is an excerpt from our Monk in the World self-study retreat.
Principle 7: I commit to a lifetime of ongoing conversion and transformation, recognizing that I am always on a journey with both gifts and limitations.
Conversion is one of the central commitments which Benedictine monks make. The other two are obedience and stability which have to do with listening deeply for God’s voice in the world and committing to staying put even in the midst of conflict or struggle.
Conversion for me means to always allow myself to be surprised by God. It invites me to a sense of wonder and awe and recognizing that God’s imagination is far wider than my own.
One of Benedict’s principles in his Rule is that we always begin again, and he describes the Rule as for “beginners.” This beginner’s mind and heart are central to conversion. As contemplatives, we are always on the path, always growing, we never fully arrive and so we always have more to learn.
Conversion in monastic tradition is never a once-and-for-all event. Instead, it is always a process of unfolding, ripening, emerging, arising. I like to think about this commitment to conversion as always being surprised by God, always remembering that God’s imagination is far greater than our own. Through conversion we commit to opening our eyes again and again, seeing what is deep below the surface of everyday life. We let ourselves be moved by something unexpected, a momentary awareness of beauty or grace.
Do you ever have those moments when you are suddenly caught in the emotion of a past story you thought you had worked through already? “That again?” You might ask yourself. But the expectation that we somehow work through an issue and then are done with it is a very linear way of approaching life, when I would suggest our experience is much more of a spiral. We come around again and again to the very same things that cause us to stumble, but each time we see them from a new perspective.
Bringing the mind and heart of a beginner to our lives helps us to discover the wisdom inherent in each moment. When we let go of our desire to be clever or successful or create beautiful things we may begin to open to the sacred truth of our experience as it is, not how we want it to be.
Wonder is at the heart of conversion, letting ourselves be moved by life, surprised by God, and open to the grace of the moment.
Expectation can preclude the opportunity for discovery. When we try to reach a goal, we become fixated on it and we miss the process. Beginner’s mind is the practice of coming to an experience with an openness and willingness to be transformed. Art is one way to reconnect us with our childlike sense of wonder. When we engage art as prayer we can remember that play is also an act of prayer, praising God out of sheer delight. We can learn to take ourselves – our art and our spirituality – a little less seriously.
Join Simon, Richard and me tomorrow for our Contemplative Prayer Service and explore what conversion is calling you to in your life during this season.
With great and growing love,
Christine
Christine Valters Paintner, OblSB, PhD, REACE
