Abbey of the Arts

Transformative Living through Contemplative & Expressive Arts

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    • Prayer Cycle
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    • About Christine Valters Paintner
    • About John Valters Paintner
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  • Books
    • Breath Prayer:
      An Ancient Practice for the Everyday Sacred
    • Sacred Time:
      Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
    • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: Poems
    • Earth, Our Original Monastery:
      Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature
    • Dreaming of Stones: Poems
    • The Soul's Slow Ripening:
      12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred
    • The Wisdom of the Body:
      A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women
    • Illuminating the Way:
      Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
    • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
      Eight Practices for the Journey Within
    • Eyes of the Heart:
      Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice
    • The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom
    • Desert Mothers and Fathers: Early Christian Wisdom Sayings Annotated & Explained
    • Lectio Divina–The Sacred Art: Transforming Words and Images into Heart-Centered Prayer
    • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements
    • Awakening the Creative Spirit:
      Bringing the Arts to Spiritual Direction
    • Lectio Divina: Contemplative Awakening & Awareness
  • Poetry | Art | Music
    • Music + DVD
    • Poetry by Christine Valters Paintner
    • Poetry Videos
    • Dancing Monk Icons
    • Other Art Collaborations
      • Monk in the World art series by Kristin Noelle
      • Saints & Animals art series by David Hollington
      • Sacred Time art series by Alexi Francis
      • Mary block print art series by Kreg Yingst
  • Programs
    • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color Book Club
    • Community Online Retreats
      • Harriet Tubman and Howard Thurman-on Being Free
      • Writing Into Bloom
        with Christine Valters Paintner
      • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
      • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: A Weekend Retreat Online
      • The Spiral Way:
        Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination
      • Sacred Balance:
        Aligning Body and Spirit Through
        Yoga and the Benedictine Way
    • Self-Study Online Spiritual Retreats
      • Creative Flourishing in the Heart of the Desert:
        An Online Retreat with St. Hildegard of Bingen
      • Dreaming of the Sea:
        A women’s discernment journey through the story of the Selkie
      • Earth, Our Original Monastery
        A Companion Retreat to the Book (SELF-STUDY)
      • Exile and Coming Home:
        An Archetypal Journey through the Scriptures
      • Eyes of the Heart:
        Photography as Contemplative Practice
        (Companion retreat to the book)
      • Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers
        (SELF-STUDY)
      • Honoring Saints and Ancestors:
        Online Retreat for the Season of Remembrance
      • Lectio Divina:
        The Sacred Art of Reading the World
      • A Midwinter God:
        Making a Conscious Underworld Journey (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Rhythms of Sky, Sun, Sea & Stone:
        A Creative Retreat with the Elements (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Seasons:
        A Yearlong Journey through the Celtic Wheel of the Year
      • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
        Eight Practices for the Journey Within
        (a companion retreat to the book)
      • The Soul's Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seekers of the Sacred (a companion retreat to the book)
      • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire
      • Watershed Moments
        in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures
      • Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist:
        A 12-Week Companion Retreat to The Artist's Rule
      • The Wisdom of the Body:
        A 10-Week Online Companion Retreat to the Book
      • The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine
    • Live Programs: Pilgrimage & Retreats
      • Writing on the Wild Edges (Ireland)
      • Hildegard of Bingen (Germany)
      • Awakening the Creative Spirit: Experiential Education for Spiritual Directors in the Expressive Arts (Northwest)
  • Calendar
  • Reflections
  • Contact

Uncategorized

Give up your endless searching (a love note from your online Abbess)

Give up your endless searching

Lay down your map and compass,
and those dog-eared travel guides.
Rest your weary eyes from so much looking,
your tired feet from so much wandering,
your aching heart from so much hoping.

Lay down on the soft green grass
wet with morning dew, and watch as
the tree heavy with pendulous pears
bends her long branches toward you,
offering you perfection in every sweet bite.

Give up the weight of knowing,
for the reverence of quiet attention
and curiosity, for the delight of
juice that runs in generous streams
down your chin.

—Christine Valters Paintner

Dearest Monks and Artists,

July 6th marked a year since John and I stepped onto an ocean liner to cross the Atlantic on our life pilgrimage. We chose this slow crossing intentionally, as a symbol of how we wanted to live this time.  One of the things I have loved most about living first in Vienna and now in Galway, has been the slower pace of life in general in Europe, something that nourishes my monk heart. I spent some time last week reading through my journals of this past year, which was a beautiful way to honor and witness the transitions of this time and the wisdom gleaned.

When we left, people would ask how long we would be gone.  "Somewhere between a year and forever" became my reply, not knowing how things would unfold. After our first year, we are in no rush to return anytime soon.

Again and again, throughout our time of bumping up against foreign customs and challenging our preconceived ideas, the wisdom offered has been to release the seeking.  This time of living overseas is not a grand quest, but an invitation to a deepened way of being in the world.  I am not here to discover something missing from my life, but to recognize the fullness of things as they already are. I went on a retreat in Austria last August, near the start of this adventure and the gift I received was these words: "Drink freely from the life you have been given."  Every revelation has followed from this initial one.

For many years, work with ancestry and family systems has been an essential spiritual practice for me, bringing more inner freedom than I ever could have imagined.  It was at the heart of the call to move to Vienna, where I experienced so much healing in relationship to my father.  I was able to break the patterns of withholding and cycles of despair that extend back for generations in my family.  I came to receive my father's blessing and the blessing of grandmothers and grandfathers.  Vienna, it turned out, was a portal rather than final destination.

We should only go on pilgrimage if we want to be changed.  If we are not changed, we have simply embarked on a vacation, demanding nothing of us.  We do not return the same.  The challenge is that we can not know the ways we will be changed, which can be terrifying if we like life to be predictable and in our control. We do not know ultimately what it is we are looking for, so we must lay down even the seeking, and let the journey itself shape us.

"The monk is not just someone who wishes to be a monk.  It requires a breakthrough, an initiation, a diksa, a new birth." —Raimundo Panikkar

My word for this year is "breakthrough" and I am discovering that rather than the thunderous revelation the word might suggest, I am experiencing a slow and quiet revolution where this monk's path of yielding is taking firmer root in my heart. Exploring the beauty of Ireland's landscapes and ancient monastic ruins feels like a kind of initiation into something I am yet unable to name.  I am experiencing a new clarity of my call in this world, and the paradox is that I do not have words for it.

Conversion is one of the great Benedictine principles.  The commitment daily to practice the path demands of us great courage, to have faith in what is unseen, to yield to a greater force in lives than our own sheer will.  To know the discipline of showing up to life matters, and the recognition that I have never arrived.  To be a monk in the world is to allow this great "quest" I am on to reveal that there is no "quest" at all, only a great softening, following the threads, being formed slowly by the landscape, trusting what it is I most love, and releasing the burden of whether I am worthy to say yes, yes, yes.

How is it with you on your own great life pilgrimage? 
Have you laid down the quest in favor of the quiet revelations waiting for you, right in this moment?

With great and growing love,

Christine

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1 Comment July 15, 2013

Upcoming Programs

  • Writing Into Bloom with Christine Valters Paintner
    • May 1, 2021
  • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
    • May 13, 2021
  • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: A Weekend Retreat Online
    • May 15, 2021 - May 16, 2021
  • View All Upcoming Programs

Recent Reflections

  • A mini-poetry reading from Christine plus other publishing news
  • St. Kevin Holds Open His Hand and Radical Hospitality ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Monk in the World Guest Post: Greta Kopec
  • Monk in the World Podcast + Harriet Tubman Mysticism ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color – April Video Discussion and Book Group Materials Now Available

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