Abbey of the Arts

Transformative Living through Contemplative & Expressive Arts

  • Welcome
    • Prayer Cycle
      • Day 1 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Cathedral
      • Day 2 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Scriptures
      • Day 3 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Saints
      • Day 4 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Spiritual Directors
      • Day 5 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Icon
      • Day 6 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Sacrament
      • Day 7 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Liturgy
      • Prayer Cycle Leader Resources
    • About the Abbey
    • About Christine Valters Paintner
    • About John Valters Paintner
    • About the Wisdom Council
    • Monk Manifesto
    • Join the Holy Disorder of Dancing Monks
    • Subscribe to Our Love Notes
    • Website privacy notice
  • Books
    • Sacred Time:
      Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
    • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: Poems
    • Earth, Our Original Monastery:
      Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature
    • Dreaming of Stones: Poems
    • The Soul's Slow Ripening:
      12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred
    • The Wisdom of the Body:
      A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women
    • Illuminating the Way:
      Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
    • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
      Eight Practices for the Journey Within
    • Eyes of the Heart:
      Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice
    • The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom
    • Desert Mothers and Fathers: Early Christian Wisdom Sayings Annotated & Explained
    • Lectio Divina–The Sacred Art: Transforming Words and Images into Heart-Centered Prayer
    • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements
    • Awakening the Creative Spirit:
      Bringing the Arts to Spiritual Direction
    • Lectio Divina: Contemplative Awakening & Awareness
  • Poetry | Art | Music
    • Music + DVD
    • Poetry by Christine Valters Paintner
    • Poetry Videos
    • Dancing Monk Icons
    • Other Art Collaborations
      • Monk in the World art series by Kristin Noelle
      • Saints & Animals art series by David Hollington
      • Sacred Time art series by Alexi Francis
      • Mary block print art series by Kreg Yingst
  • Programs
    • Walk the Ancient Paths: Pilgrimage
      • Monk in the World (Ireland)
      • Writing on the Wild Edges (Ireland)
      • Poetry and the Sacred Garden of the World (Ireland)
      • Vienna Monk in the World (Austria)
      • Hildegard of Bingen (Germany)
    • Live Programs and Spiritual Retreats
      • Awakening the Creative Spirit: Experiential Education for Spiritual Directors in the Expressive Arts (Northwest)
    • Community Online Retreats
      • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color
      • The Way of the Hermit:
        A Spiritual Survival Guide for Dark Times
        with Kayleen Asbo, PhD
      • The Spiral Way:
        Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination
      • Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers (Lent 2021)
      • Sacred Time: Embracing an Intentional Way of Life (Spring 2021)
    • Self-Study Online Spiritual Retreats
      • Creative Flourishing in the Heart of the Desert:
        An Online Retreat with St. Hildegard of Bingen
      • Dreaming of the Sea:
        A women’s discernment journey through the story of the Selkie
      • Earth, Our Original Monastery
        A Companion Retreat to the Book (SELF-STUDY)
      • Exile and Coming Home:
        An Archetypal Journey through the Scriptures
      • Eyes of the Heart:
        Photography as Contemplative Practice
        (Companion retreat to the book)
      • Honoring Saints and Ancestors:
        Online Retreat for the Season of Remembrance
      • Lectio Divina:
        The Sacred Art of Reading the World
      • A Midwinter God:
        Making a Conscious Underworld Journey
      • Sacred Rhythms of Sky, Sun, Sea & Stone:
        A Creative Retreat with the Elements (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Seasons:
        A Yearlong Journey through the Celtic Wheel of the Year
      • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
        Eight Practices for the Journey Within
        (a companion retreat to the book)
      • The Soul's Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seekers of the Sacred (a companion retreat to the book)
      • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire
      • Watershed Moments
        in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures
      • Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist:
        A 12-Week Companion Retreat to The Artist's Rule
      • The Wisdom of the Body:
        A 10-Week Online Companion Retreat to the Book
      • The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine
  • Calendar
  • Reflections
  • Contact

Family Systems, Grief

Go in peace, you are loved

Go in peace, you are loved, you are loved
Go in peace, you are loved
Go with God, you are loved, you are loved
Go with God, you are loved

The God who wove you in the dark
the one whose rough hands made your heart
had you in mind before the dawn of time
The one who gazed with gentle eyes
at all the colors of your life–
Before the threads were dyed,
the artist saw your life
(chorus)

Back at the house you started from
your God has left the porch light
on however late the hour, you’ll find the way
Oh, welcome, then! back to the light
in from the dark of mortal strife
into the house of grace
where love lives, take your place
(chorus)

Your work is done, you are loved, you are loved
Go in peace, you are loved
Go with God, you are loved, you are loved,
Go with God, you are loved….

© 2007 Katarina Stenstedt

Click here to listen to the song above (click the button that says "Go in Peace mp3" in the upper left)

I have been on quite a journey since I last wrote posted here.  My mother-in-law, Helen, has been declining with Alzheimer's for several years now and we received a phone call a couple of weeks ago that she was entering her final days.  My husband and I flew down to Sacramento and joined his two sisters, his father, and his aunt, and for five days we sat vigil by her bedside.  We sang to her, rubbed her feet and hands with lotion, told stories about how much we loved her, and waited.  I was continuously aware of how holy this time was. I was reminded many times of sitting by my own mother's bedside awaiting her letting go into the great Unknown.  It was an intense time, and there were many moments she seemed to be in great physical pain despite the morphine being administered, so we were grateful for her final release.

The gifts and graces of this time were many.  And the sweetness and ache of grief is also there.  She was a woman with an expansive heart who offered love to everyone she encountered, and at 70 she was much too young to die.  My husband has been saying goodbye to her for years
now as she descended into the confusion of her illness.

My heart feels tender, the sorrow over losing another mother is deep.  I have been offered this privilege of again being a midwife among other midwives on that final journey.  And I don't think anyone who stays awake through an experience like this can help but be changed somehow, deepened even further into life's mysteries.

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.
–Wendell Berry

Berry's words found me the other day and speak to where I am right now.  I feel a bit disoriented as so much has happened this fall.  My body is tired.  I am experiencing the mystery of autumn's descent toward winter in deep ways.  The call is to move inward and simply rest and receive all that has come into my life.  As I come closer to the reality of my own death I am pressed against my heart's song.  I need time to listen.  Right now I am in the midst of leading an online retreat for Honoring Saints and Ancestors, so I feel the thinness of the veil keenly these days.  My own ancestors feel especially near, whispering great secrets to me that I will only come to understand slowly over time.  More will be revealed, but for now I simply wait and savor life.

The lyrics to the song above came to me many times during this experience of waiting.  I met Katarina Stenstedt when she came on a recent Awakening the Creative Spirit retreat and then blessed us with this song she had written on our last day.  Music has a way of offering solace that words often can't reach.  You can stop by her blog to find out more about her and her music.

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5 Comments November 13, 2011

Upcoming Programs

The Way of the Hermit:
A Spiritual Survival Guide for Dark Times

January 22-24, 2021
with Kayleen Asbo, PhD

The Spiral Way:
Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination

Hosted by the Rowe Center
February 1-21, 2021
with Christine Valters Paintner, PhD

Recent Reflections

  • Hildy Tales 2: Tús maith leath na hoibre – by John Valters Paintner
  • New Book Club for 2021: Lift Every Voice ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Hildy Tales One: Dia dhuit, is mise Hildy! by John Valters Paintner, Your Online Prior
  • Celebrate the Earth Monastery Prayer Cycle podcast with us!
  • Join us for A Midwinter God & Epiphany! ~ A Love Note from Our Online Abbess

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