Abbey of the Arts

Transformative Living through Contemplative & Expressive Arts

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    • Breath Prayer:
      An Ancient Practice for the Everyday Sacred
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      Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
    • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: Poems
    • Earth, Our Original Monastery:
      Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature
    • Dreaming of Stones: Poems
    • The Soul's Slow Ripening:
      12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred
    • The Wisdom of the Body:
      A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women
    • Illuminating the Way:
      Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
    • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
      Eight Practices for the Journey Within
    • Eyes of the Heart:
      Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice
    • The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom
    • Desert Mothers and Fathers: Early Christian Wisdom Sayings Annotated & Explained
    • Lectio Divina–The Sacred Art: Transforming Words and Images into Heart-Centered Prayer
    • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements
    • Awakening the Creative Spirit:
      Bringing the Arts to Spiritual Direction
    • Lectio Divina: Contemplative Awakening & Awareness
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    • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color Book Club
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      • Harriet Tubman and Howard Thurman-on Being Free
      • Writing Into Bloom
        with Christine Valters Paintner
      • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
      • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: A Weekend Retreat Online
      • The Spiral Way:
        Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination
      • Sacred Balance:
        Aligning Body and Spirit Through
        Yoga and the Benedictine Way
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        An Online Retreat with St. Hildegard of Bingen
      • Dreaming of the Sea:
        A women’s discernment journey through the story of the Selkie
      • Earth, Our Original Monastery
        A Companion Retreat to the Book (SELF-STUDY)
      • Exile and Coming Home:
        An Archetypal Journey through the Scriptures
      • Eyes of the Heart:
        Photography as Contemplative Practice
        (Companion retreat to the book)
      • Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers
        (SELF-STUDY)
      • Honoring Saints and Ancestors:
        Online Retreat for the Season of Remembrance
      • Lectio Divina:
        The Sacred Art of Reading the World
      • A Midwinter God:
        Making a Conscious Underworld Journey (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Rhythms of Sky, Sun, Sea & Stone:
        A Creative Retreat with the Elements (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Seasons:
        A Yearlong Journey through the Celtic Wheel of the Year
      • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
        Eight Practices for the Journey Within
        (a companion retreat to the book)
      • The Soul's Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seekers of the Sacred (a companion retreat to the book)
      • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire
      • Watershed Moments
        in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures
      • Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist:
        A 12-Week Companion Retreat to The Artist's Rule
      • The Wisdom of the Body:
        A 10-Week Online Companion Retreat to the Book
      • The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine
    • Live Programs: Pilgrimage & Retreats
      • Writing on the Wild Edges (Ireland)
      • Hildegard of Bingen (Germany)
      • Awakening the Creative Spirit: Experiential Education for Spiritual Directors in the Expressive Arts (Northwest)
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Contemplative Living

Discovering the True Self

A couple of weeks ago I had my first Thai massage session. It is different than traditional Swedish style massage in that you are fully clothed and lay on a mat.  The massage practitioner stretches your body in different directions to help release tension.  There is also a lot of rhythmic rocking so that the body relaxes deeply. While we were in the midst of the work, the woman who was giving me the massage commented that I surrendered very easily.  She said most people have a lot of resistance to complete relaxation and releasing into her hold.

The next day I went for a long morning walk, praying my prayer of openness along the way as is my practice.  Breathing in the gifts of autumn beauty, paying attention to where the invitation is for me in the moment. There was a gentle wind rushing the leaves from their branches, like flakes of gold and rust being brushed from an ancient piece of art.  They fluttered toward the ground and then danced in a circle together before finding a place of rest, a simple ritual celebrating their journey of transformation ahead.

I was reminded of kigen's comment on one of my autumn posts about autumn being the time the true color of the leaves is revealed. She wrote: "The new vibrant hues are the “original nature” so to speak of the leaf. The green leaf in spring is actually a masking of that original color by the influx of chlorophyll. When the chlorophyll is no longer secreted in autumn we see the true colors of the leaf." I was very taken with this idea that in the surrender of autumn the true colors are revealed.  In our own places of surrender, those moments when we are stretched and asked to relinquish our hold on whatever it is we cling to, we often discover new dimensions of ourselves.

I found this quote by Richard Rohr at lucy's blog: "Surrender is something that is done to us. You can't pick ahead of time which dragon you'll slay. The opportunity always sneaks up on you, and then all you can do is be ready." I am intrigued by the idea that we do not surrender, but are surrendered by Another. All we can do is "be ready," to prepare by practicing the art of letting go when the time is right, releasing our bodies into the arms of someone we trust, tending the rise and fall of breathing in and breathing out and recognizing that both are necessary for life. Sometimes the invitation is to let go of the very thoughts to which we cling and use to analyze the process of letting go itself.

William Johnston in his book Arise, My Love: Mysticism for a New Era writes "In this process, there is no discursive thinking. One lets go of all reasoning and imagining in order to enter into a new world of silence where with great joy one discovers one's original face, one's true self." Which brings me back to those leaves. As they cascade into the world of silence, removing their mask, they reveal their true nature. What is that moment of joy like?  Do they recognize the face that has always been with them?

Autumn continues its call to me: surrender, surrender, surrender.  In between those whispers I hear another voice, even more gentle saying remember spring, but winter comes first. I continue practicing my surrender imperfectly, letting go of my thoughts that seize hold of the world, of what matters to me. In that space is silence.  I only catch the briefest of moments, fragile like the leaves that have scattered themselves in holy offering across the ground. Broken beneath the footsteps of a world in a hurry to get someplace else.

-Christine Valters Paintner @ Abbey of the Arts

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5 Comments November 14, 2008

Upcoming Programs

  • Writing Into Bloom with Christine Valters Paintner
    • May 1, 2021
  • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
    • May 13, 2021
  • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: A Weekend Retreat Online
    • May 15, 2021 - May 16, 2021
  • View All Upcoming Programs

Recent Reflections

  • Monk in the World Guest Post: Reverend Deb Goldman
  • A mini-poetry reading from Christine plus other publishing news
  • St. Kevin Holds Open His Hand and Radical Hospitality ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Monk in the World Guest Post: Greta Kopec
  • Monk in the World Podcast + Harriet Tubman Mysticism ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

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