Abbey of the Arts

Transformative Living through Contemplative & Expressive Arts

  • Welcome
    • Prayer Cycle
      • Introduction to the Earth Monastery Prayer Cycle
      • Day 1 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Cathedral
      • Day 2 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Scriptures
      • Day 3 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Saints
      • Day 4 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Spiritual Directors
      • Day 5 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Icon
      • Day 6 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Sacrament
      • Day 7 Morning & Evening Prayer:
        Earth as the Original Liturgy
      • Prayer Cycle Leader Resources
    • About the Abbey
    • About Christine Valters Paintner
    • About John Valters Paintner
    • About the Wisdom Council
    • Monk Manifesto
    • Join the Holy Disorder of Dancing Monks
    • Subscribe to Our Love Notes
    • Website privacy notice
  • Books
    • Sacred Time:
      Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
    • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: Poems
    • Earth, Our Original Monastery:
      Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature
    • Dreaming of Stones: Poems
    • The Soul's Slow Ripening:
      12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred
    • The Wisdom of the Body:
      A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women
    • Illuminating the Way:
      Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
    • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
      Eight Practices for the Journey Within
    • Eyes of the Heart:
      Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice
    • The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom
    • Desert Mothers and Fathers: Early Christian Wisdom Sayings Annotated & Explained
    • Lectio Divina–The Sacred Art: Transforming Words and Images into Heart-Centered Prayer
    • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements
    • Awakening the Creative Spirit:
      Bringing the Arts to Spiritual Direction
    • Lectio Divina: Contemplative Awakening & Awareness
  • Poetry | Art | Music
    • Music + DVD
    • Poetry by Christine Valters Paintner
    • Poetry Videos
    • Dancing Monk Icons
    • Other Art Collaborations
      • Monk in the World art series by Kristin Noelle
      • Saints & Animals art series by David Hollington
      • Sacred Time art series by Alexi Francis
      • Mary block print art series by Kreg Yingst
  • Programs
    • Live Programs: Pilgrimage & Retreats
      • Monk in the World (Ireland)
      • Writing on the Wild Edges (Ireland)
      • Vienna Monk in the World (Austria)
      • Hildegard of Bingen (Germany)
      • Awakening the Creative Spirit: Experiential Education for Spiritual Directors in the Expressive Arts (Northwest)
    • Community Online Retreats
      • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color
      • The Way of the Hermit:
        A Spiritual Survival Guide for Dark Times
        with Kayleen Asbo, PhD
      • The Spiral Way:
        Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination
      • Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers (Lent 2021)
      • Dancing with Fear in Troubled Times
      • Novena for Times of Unraveling
      • The Two HT’s-Harriet Tubman and Howard Thurman-on Being Free
      • Writing Into Bloom
        with Christine Valters Paintner
      • Sacred Time: Embracing an Intentional Way of Life (Spring 2021)
      • Poetry and the Sacred Garden of the World:
        An Online Writing Retreat
    • Self-Study Online Spiritual Retreats
      • Creative Flourishing in the Heart of the Desert:
        An Online Retreat with St. Hildegard of Bingen
      • Dreaming of the Sea:
        A women’s discernment journey through the story of the Selkie
      • Earth, Our Original Monastery
        A Companion Retreat to the Book (SELF-STUDY)
      • Exile and Coming Home:
        An Archetypal Journey through the Scriptures
      • Eyes of the Heart:
        Photography as Contemplative Practice
        (Companion retreat to the book)
      • Honoring Saints and Ancestors:
        Online Retreat for the Season of Remembrance
      • Lectio Divina:
        The Sacred Art of Reading the World
      • A Midwinter God:
        Making a Conscious Underworld Journey
      • Sacred Rhythms of Sky, Sun, Sea & Stone:
        A Creative Retreat with the Elements (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Seasons:
        A Yearlong Journey through the Celtic Wheel of the Year
      • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
        Eight Practices for the Journey Within
        (a companion retreat to the book)
      • The Soul's Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seekers of the Sacred (a companion retreat to the book)
      • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire
      • Watershed Moments
        in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures
      • Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist:
        A 12-Week Companion Retreat to The Artist's Rule
      • The Wisdom of the Body:
        A 10-Week Online Companion Retreat to the Book
      • The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine
  • Calendar
  • Reflections
  • Contact

Lent Easter, Photos

Nakedness

Are you willing to be sponged out, erased, cancelled,
made nothing?
Are you willing to be made nothing?
dipped into oblivion?
If not, you will never really change.

The phoenix renews her youth
only when she is burnt, burnt alive, burnt down
to hot and flocculent ash.
Then the small stirring of a new small bub in the nest
with strands of down like floating ash
shows that she is renewing her youth like the eagle,
immortal bird.

-D. H. Lawrence (found at Anchors and Masts)

I am both drawn to the quote above and turned away at the same time.  I love the Phoenix image  rising from the ashes, the new life that emerges from death.  We see it in the world around us in the Northern hemisphere this time of year, we see it in the Christian liturgies of the Triduum that are approaching.  And yet, I am also aware that for many women, the challenge and struggle is to make onself visible in the world, not to deny oneself.

A week and a half ago when I was in NC for the dream training program, that Saturday night was a total lunar eclipse.  Watching the moon that night was an amazing experience.  The sky was absolutely clear and the moon's light reflected on the rippling waters of the lake at the retreat center.  Slowly, over a period of a couple of hours, I watched as the moon emerged from behind the darkness of the earth's shadow — an especially marvelous image since I was immersed in Jungian studies that weekend and had been reflecting on my own shadow energies.  How was I being invited to emerge from behind them?

The next afternoon we finally had a break (the program schedule was very intense) and I took a long and wonderful nap to restore my body and then went out to the labyrinth.  As I began the journey toward the center I prayed with what has been weighing me down, what I wanted to release from my own shadows.  As I walked I became aware of all the ways my fears around money have been draining me lately.  As I continue to move toward following my call to live in a deeply contemplative and creative way, I am drawn to doing less of the teaching that provides a more regular source of income.  With this choice comes anxiety around our finances and I decided to just let all of the voices speak to me in this time of prayer.  Too often I dismiss them without really listening to what they have to say to me about my own deeper longings.  They told me of childhood fears that were still lingering, ego desires to do something important in the world, guilt over having so much in my life, wondering what is "enough" to feel secure.  And so we walked together for a while toward the center of the labyrinth and they were satisfied with having their say and slowly faded into the background. 

When I arrived at the middle I lay down for a while on the ground, staring up at the bright blue sky and the tree limbs just beginning to show their signs of new life.  I remembered a dream I had the night before about dancing naked in front of others and not being ashamed, reveling in the beauty of my own nakedness.  I realized that the dream in some ways was about a part of myself previously hidden coming out into the light, the way the full round body of the moon slowly revealed herself from behind the shadows the night before. 

And then I had this moment I have had many times before, but it always feels like grace when it overtakes me. I thought: if all I do in this world is to love as well as I possibly can, that is enough.  At that moment a crow flew overhead cawing loudly as if in affirmation.  I breathed this in for a long while.

Finally, it was time to journey back out from the center and return to the world. As I moved outward I held that image of the beauty of nakedness within me, the joy and simplicity of how I am called to be.  I realized I need to celebrate the precious vulnerability of this contemplative life I lead.  If it were easy to follow it would not be as meaningful.  Precisely because we live in a world of possessions and a drive to productivity tearing people apart that my call has profound meaning.

I returned to Seattle and the cherry trees were exploding in pinks and whites across the city, crocuses were opening wide their petals in the sun.  Out of the cold ground and bare branches suddenly comes a vibrant display of beauty.  Out of my vulnerability and nakedness comes a beauty of my own I am called to claim, to celebrate, and to make visible.  The world is wholly generous, holding nothing back.  How can I not help but respond with the same?

What is bursting forth for you these days of spring?  Where are you called to nakedness and to flowering? What is "enough"?

-Christine Valters Paintner @ Abbey of the Arts

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9 Comments March 14, 2007

Upcoming Programs

The Spiral Way:
Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination

Hosted by the Rowe Center
February 1-21, 2021
with Christine Valters Paintner, PhD

Journey with the Desert Mothers and Fathers
Retreat for Lent 2021

February 17-April 1, 2021
with Christine & John Valters Paintner and Betsey Beckman

Recent Reflections

  • Hildy Tales 3: Ní heolas go haontíos ~ by John Valters Paintner
  • Humility + Join us today for live prayer! ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Hildy Tales 2: Tús maith leath na hoibre – by John Valters Paintner
  • New Book Club for 2021: Lift Every Voice ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Hildy Tales One: Dia dhuit, is mise Hildy! by John Valters Paintner, Your Online Prior

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