Abbey of the Arts

Transformative Living through Contemplative & Expressive Arts

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  • Books
    • Breath Prayer:
      An Ancient Practice for the Everyday Sacred
    • Sacred Time:
      Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
    • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: Poems
    • Earth, Our Original Monastery:
      Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature
    • Dreaming of Stones: Poems
    • The Soul's Slow Ripening:
      12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred
    • The Wisdom of the Body:
      A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women
    • Illuminating the Way:
      Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
    • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
      Eight Practices for the Journey Within
    • Eyes of the Heart:
      Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice
    • The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom
    • Desert Mothers and Fathers: Early Christian Wisdom Sayings Annotated & Explained
    • Lectio Divina–The Sacred Art: Transforming Words and Images into Heart-Centered Prayer
    • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying with the Elements
    • Awakening the Creative Spirit:
      Bringing the Arts to Spiritual Direction
    • Lectio Divina: Contemplative Awakening & Awareness
  • Poetry | Art | Music
    • Music + DVD
    • Poetry by Christine Valters Paintner
    • Poetry Videos
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      • Monk in the World art series by Kristin Noelle
      • Saints & Animals art series by David Hollington
      • Sacred Time art series by Alexi Francis
      • Mary block print art series by Kreg Yingst
  • Programs
    • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color Book Club
      • Embodied Spirits: Stories of Spiritual Directors of Color (Book Club – March 2021)
      • God Alone is Enough: A Spirited Journey with Teresa of Avila (Book Club – February 2021)
    • Community Online Retreats
      • Harriet Tubman and Howard Thurman-on Being Free
      • Writing Into Bloom
        with Christine Valters Paintner
      • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
      • The Wisdom of Wild Grace: A Weekend Retreat Online
      • The Spiral Way:
        Celtic Spirituality and the Creative Imagination
      • Sacred Balance:
        Aligning Body and Spirit Through
        Yoga and the Benedictine Way
    • Self-Study Online Spiritual Retreats
      • Creative Flourishing in the Heart of the Desert:
        An Online Retreat with St. Hildegard of Bingen
      • Dreaming of the Sea:
        A women’s discernment journey through the story of the Selkie
      • Earth, Our Original Monastery
        A Companion Retreat to the Book (SELF-STUDY)
      • Exile and Coming Home:
        An Archetypal Journey through the Scriptures
      • Eyes of the Heart:
        Photography as Contemplative Practice
        (Companion retreat to the book)
      • Honoring Saints and Ancestors:
        Online Retreat for the Season of Remembrance
      • Lectio Divina:
        The Sacred Art of Reading the World
      • A Midwinter God:
        Making a Conscious Underworld Journey (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Rhythms of Sky, Sun, Sea & Stone:
        A Creative Retreat with the Elements (SELF-STUDY)
      • Sacred Seasons:
        A Yearlong Journey through the Celtic Wheel of the Year
      • The Soul of a Pilgrim:
        Eight Practices for the Journey Within
        (a companion retreat to the book)
      • The Soul's Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seekers of the Sacred (a companion retreat to the book)
      • Water, Wind, Earth & Fire
      • Watershed Moments
        in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures
      • Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist:
        A 12-Week Companion Retreat to The Artist's Rule
      • The Wisdom of the Body:
        A 10-Week Online Companion Retreat to the Book
      • The Wisdom of Mary and the Sacred Feminine
    • Live Programs: Pilgrimage & Retreats
      • Writing on the Wild Edges (Ireland)
      • Hildegard of Bingen (Germany)
      • Awakening the Creative Spirit: Experiential Education for Spiritual Directors in the Expressive Arts (Northwest)
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Monastic Spirituality

Standing in Place

There is a lot weighing on my heart this week, a conflict with a dear friend continues, one of my fellow oblates is in the end stages of pancreatic cancer, and my mother-in-law’s Alzheimer’s is slowly worsening. I feel so very tender.

I received a couple of wonderful emails from readers who shared with me how much it meant to them that I wrote my post last week about feeling all too human and needing to let what I wrote be enough.  I was touched by reflecting on the gift we offer each other in our shared vulnerability and permission to be exactly where we are.

Being present to these struggles has me thinking of the Benedictine vows, especially the vow of stability. My understanding of stability has shifted over the last few years. When I lived in California and discovered Benedictine spirituality, I longed then to make a commitment as an oblate to a particular community. We knew we were in a transitional place however, and so I waited until we were settled in Seattle so I could make a more permanent commitment and live fully into the vow of stability.

Commitment to a particular place and community are still essential elements of stability for me, but I also see the deeper invitation to love the place where you find yourself. Stability, for me, means standing in place even when life inevitably gets sticky or embarrassing or deeply painful. I don’t mean the kind of martyr complex or false hope that keeps a woman standing by her abuser. I mean the kind of running that keeps me from ever standing still in the landscape of tenderness and vulnerability.

In a culture of mobility and restlessness, I can so easily pick up and move when things get uncomfortable or brighter horizons beckon. This happens with relationships as well as places. Even in the absence of the option to physically move, there are many ways for me to feed my desire for distraction, whether it is television or internet or other entertainment. Loving the place where I find myself might mean the physical location, but for me also refers to the emotional place whether grief, rawness, or anger.   It is the foundation for relationship, saying I will continue to be here and work through this with you.

Stability is also best understood in context of all three vows Benedictine monks take: stability, obedience, and conversion. Obedience is really about deep listening. The root of the word comes from the Latin audire, meaning “to hear.” Obedience means listening to the world around me for the voice of God speaking through all things and people, at all times, even conflict and struggle, perhaps especially so.

I understand conversion as a commitment to allow myself to continue to be surprised by God, to let God out of the small boxes I construct, and to be open to the lifelong process of transformation. I commit to being stretched wide open even when I want to curl up and hide.

These three vows are woven together and inform each other. Stability is really only meaningful if I commit myself to both listen deeply to the place I am and allow myself to be changed by it. In being faithful to the place of struggle how might I embrace new possibilities and allow God’s grace to expand my vision?

Stability teaches me that the most ordinary commitments in life are precious. It means having patience in dark days. I find myself now in a crucible of sorts.  There is so much about my life I love deeply, but I admit I do not love this particular place.  I am trying to at least be present to it, to discover the hidden ways of the holy beating within it.

Do you love the place you find yourself? Will you be faithful to whatever terrible, beautiful things are emerging right now?

-Christine Valters Paintner

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7 Comments November 8, 2006

Upcoming Programs

  • The Two HT’s Harriet Tubman and Howard Thurman on Being Free with Therese Taylor-Stinson
    • Apr 17, 2021
  • Writing Into Bloom with Christine Valters Paintner
    • May 1, 2021
  • Revelations: The Mysticism of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe
    • May 13, 2021
  • View All Upcoming Programs

Recent Reflections

  • Monk in the World Guest Post: Greta Kopec
  • Monk in the World Podcast + Harriet Tubman Mysticism ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess
  • Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color – April Video Discussion and Book Group Materials Now Available
  • Hildy Tails 12: Is ait an mac an saol ~ by John Valters Paintner
  • Easter Blessings + An Elemental Journey ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

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