I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to the Monk in the World guest post series from the community. Read on for Elaine Breckenridge’s reflection on connection with the wisdom of her body, nature, and the healing presence within.
In 2015, I took my first online community retreat with the Abbey, titled, The Wisdom of the Body. After years of neglecting my body, I began to “savor it” and care for it in life expanding ways. The biggest gift that came out of this particular retreat was yoga. Each week we were invited to watch videos with someone who led us through a simple practice.
One day, as I was driving to work, I saw my car parked in the lot of a nearby yoga studio. I really did! Of course, it was not my car, but I got the message. Later that day, I stopped by the studio and signed up for my first class. That began an important practice which nine years later continues to this day. The Abbey’s incorporation of embodied contemplative practices in all of their retreats has helped me to claim the wisdom of my own body.
A deepening relationship with nature that has emerged through my work with the Abbey is a second and important gift. I have always enjoyed reading about creation but the Abbey encouraged me to get outdoors! Outdoors, on the prescribed contemplative walks, I have fallen in love with the elements, the sky, nearby waterscapes and especially with the forest and trees. Taking the retreat and reading Christine’s book, Earth, Our Original Monastery solidified my belief that the Earth is truly a theophany of God. In the early days of the lockdown during the pandemic, Christine and John generously came out of their sabbatical and offered The Soul of a Pilgrim retreat. I was grateful to have this anchor during that odd time which led me to learn how to pray and worship outdoors. A state park bench was my pew, trees overhead rivaled any vaulted cathedral ceiling and I was happy to have birds as my choir. More recently, I have found mystic inspiration from a nearby Cedar Forest.
A third important gift I have received is the gift of healing. The retreat, A Midwinter God: Making a Conscious Underground Journey, invited me to explore childhood trauma, my dreams, and my shadow. Taking a deep dive into my soul, this poem emerged:
Beach Vision
I went to the seashore today.
Sitting on a bed of shells,
leaning against a desiccated log,
I admired the sparkling waves
and noticed a stunning ripple of light and energy,
reminding me of a strand of artificial diamonds
my mother used to wear.
I saw ducks dressed in tuxedos and for a moment there,
I was Cinderella delivered from a day of routine housework.
I fell asleep.
I saw the paralyzed man lying by the healing waters of Bethesda.
Still hoping for a cure, he hoped for thirty-eight years—
without ever getting into the water.
No wonder Jesus asked,
“Do you want to be made well?”
At that point I woke up. Literally,
woke up and saw a man walking on water
coming towards me!
Coming to my physical senses,
I realized I was observing
a man on a paddleboard working hard
to make progress against the wind and waves.
“Elaine, do you want to be made well?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed.
“Then why do you lie on the beach
without even putting a toe into the water?”
I got the message.
In order for there to be progress
I must be willing to take the plunge
to explore my depths
to see what lies beneath the world of
sparkling waves that look like artificial diamonds and
ducks dressed in black tie.
I am being called to leave that world
(Not that I truly lived there)
and swim beneath the surface of old storylines.
I know there will be a new stillness under the glittery waves.
It will be a journey of letting go (damn it!)
A voyage that will demand peering into the darkness.
I hope my companions will be whales. At least one
with whom I can swim eye to eye.
© Elaine H. Breckenridge, May 2021
In the retreat, Visionary, Warrior, Healer, Sage: Archetypes to Navigate an Unravelling World, I was held by the prayers and support in the community forum as I navigated my own unravelling facing a breast cancer diagnosis, a partial mastectomy and radiation treatments.
All of these gifts received and there are many more, are also tools and practices which continue to guide me through my own series of personal resurrections. I am so grateful!
Many thanks to Christine, John and Melinda. Thank you to the Wisdom Council and the mentors who make these retreats possible. And thank you to the many Dancing Monks who have followed my journeys and allowed me to follow theirs.
It has brought me closer to living from my True Self.
Elaine Breckenridge is a retired Episcopal priest living on Camano Island, Washington. She serves as a grandmother, offers Celtic services and rituals, and enjoys Abbey of the Arts online community retreats.
