Say Yes (1)
December 21, 2008 · by Christine
May it be done to me according to your word. -Luke 1:38
Consent
There was the minute no one speaks of,
when she could still refuse.
A breath unbreathed,
Spirit,
suspended,
waiting.
She did not cry,”I cannot, I am not worthy,”
nor, “I have not the strength.”
She did not submit with gritted teeth,
raging, coerced.
Bravest of all humans,
consent illumined her.
The room filled with its light,
the lily glowed in it,
and the irridescent wings.
Consent,
courage unparalleled,
opened her utterly.
-Denise Levertov
Aren’t there annunciations
of one sort or another
in most lives?
-Denise Levertov, from The Stream & The Sapphire
The gospel reading this fourth Sunday of Advent is the story of the Annunciation. I have been praying with the poem above quite a bit this season. I love the way Levertov enters into that moment just before Mary’s “yes.” That moment we have all experienced when faced with an invitation to do something bold, new, and often terrifying.
While leading my recent retreat on Praying the Hours through Art & Movement, one of the gifts of insight for me that came early on in our time was about the breath. I had already connected the four prayer stations of the day — dawn, day, dusk, and dark — to the four seasons of the year — spring, summer, fall, winter, and even to the four directions and the four elements. What was new for me was recognizing that the breath is not just an in-breath and an out-breath, but there are actually four “moments” to our breathing: inhale, pause, exhale, pause. We may not naturally breathe by pausing between the rhythm of inhaling and exhaling, but there is definitely a space between these two very different movements that each hold their own quality, just like the Hours or the Seasons.
The inhale we might liken to spring and dawn, the breathing in of new life and new beginnings. The space between inhale and exhale we might liken to summer or day, that moment or time of experiencing the fullness of life. The exhale and its release invite comparisons to autumn or dusk, when we are invited to consider endings and places to surrender. And the pause between exhale and inhale again is like the night of winter, that time of being in-between, when we dwell in darkness and are not certain of what the next breath in will bring. It is a very subtle moment, but an important one that we often want to rush through on our way to spring or morning again.
Levertov’s poem enters us into that space of “A breath unbreathed” — that moment before the next inhalation. Mary’s saying yes was a new beginning, but there was the pause as she held this invitation within her body and noticed where she was being drawn.
Sometimes we rush into our “yes”es without really contemplating them first. I like to remember that the sacred yes is accompanied by a sacred no. The no creates healthy boundaries and spaciousness in our lives, so that when we say yes, we might be fully centered and alive. For every yes we say, we are also saying an unconscious no to a number of other things. When we say yes to that new committee work, we also say no to more time to ourselves for example. The story of the Annunciation is an invitation to say yes to how God is working in our lives, but there is also a more subtle, but equally important invitation to ponder the invitation, to ask if this is really the most life-giving direction for me and to allow that yes to come from the whole of our being. This isn’t so much a decision of the intellect, a reasoning out of our time and commitments as it is a response from the depths of our being and creating enough space to allow the authentic response to rise up. As Madeleine L’Engle writes:
This is the irrational season
when love blooms bright and wild.
Had Mary been filled with reason
there’d have been no room for the child.
Where are you being invited to say yes and no this holy season? What does the pause of winter invite you to contemplate more deeply? Where are you being called to give birth?
-Christine Valters Paintner @ Abbey of the Arts
** Happy Solstice! You can see my post with winter photos here and another one here**
Posted in Advent Christmas Epiphany | 6 Comments »
December 21st, 2008 at 8:25 am
This post just feeds me at so many different levels, in so many different corners of my mind and spirit that I barely know where to begin.
Does the last Sunday of Advent always include a reading on the Annunciation? I think I love the way our attention is pulled back to the Mother even in this time when we are so focused on the birth of the Son/Sun.
Even when I was furthest from my Catholic roots, poetic reflections on the Annunciation fascinated me so. Levertov’s piece is new to me (I love it!). Nuala Ni Dhomhnaill and Eilean Ni Chuilleanain have write some fascinating poems about it as well. They challenged me to think about what doors of faith I had closed and they inspire me to say yes in new ways as I move forward.
Mary has begun to appear to me more and more of late. I had never allowed myself a relationship before as I saw her only as a silent, blue cloaked alabaster mask. Now, I see a Mary who is a strong and powerful creature in her own right. The sense that she paused and chose and was not a passive vessel so enhances my new visions of this phenomenal Mother.
When I was meandering away from Christianity, I was fully immersed in Paganism. Now, I have combined these paths, and a few others as well. It is so amazing to read the ways that you weave the directions and the elements and the wheel of the year with the path of prayer. Thank you for deepening my appreciation of the complete interconnection of God and all of her wonderful creation.
Warm Solstice thanks and blessings,
Marisa
December 21st, 2008 at 10:25 am
Mary’s “yes” has been extremely important to me over the last two years. It has taught me much, and it is a frustrating component of much of Christianity — this forgetting that she was ASKED, not told. Free will was not suspended at that moment in time; Mary could have refused and therein lies the beauty of that scene.
I think that Mary’s “yes” is vital to our own joy. This deciding to embrace our lives fully in light of the knowledge of hardship and pain, fear and sorrow, which surely will come. This “yes” to life, knowing that death is its companion.
December 21st, 2008 at 2:04 pm
These questions resonate with me this holiday season as you know I have been dealing with lot these past months.Thanks for clues to what the season offers for me.
December 21st, 2008 at 6:19 pm
having pondered and experienced much of this with you this season (blessedly so), i think i am most drawn today to l’engle’s words. i love her images of this “irrational season” where “love blooms bright and wild.” that image of wildness and irrationality seem to describe both the weather we have been experiencing and the peace it has brought along with it.
i love that wildness of saying yes and i love that moment of pause when we have answered and do not know quite what we have signed up for. it is wild and irrational indeed…and yet with reason, there would have been no room for (fill in the blank)…the possibilities are infinite!!!!
this is a beautiful post from a beautiful soul!!! xoxooxoxo
December 22nd, 2008 at 3:31 am
I love what you say about the four stages to the breath. I’d never thought of that. I know I’m going to now and it’s going to help me in my meditation so much.
December 22nd, 2008 at 9:15 am
Such warm and deeply thoughtful comments here.
Marisa, the Annunciation reading happens every three years as the lectionary runs in three year cycles — Year A, B, and C. But the story itself is always close to the heart and spirit of Advent. My own heart is deeply woven with the cycles and rhythms of the world, there is much from pagan tradition that speaks to me.
blisschick, Mary’s yes is indeed so potent and powerful, the church often doesn’t want to lift up this aspect of her but it is the most vital element. You are so very right, the yes carries the greatest depth when we know the death we also must accept as a part of the journey.
you are most welcome yolanda!
lucy, it has been gift to share so much of Advent with you. I look forward to the wild irrational possibilities awaiting us both in the new year!
Tess, this new awareness has really transformed my own consciousness of breath which is something I practice quite a bit but now with an added depth.